“Ihr seid’s a Sauhaufen, a damischer! Ja so a Sauhauf’n! A Dreckslad’n! Mir stehn hier seit a 5 Minuaten, und die Drecksbahn die damische kommt a net! Des hob i noch nie erlebt a moal! Nicht mal a Durchsag’n könnt’s ihr machen ihr Idioten! Ihr dreckspackerter Sauhauf’n! Und mir stehn hier wie a Deppen und wissen nicht Bscheid wieas weitergeht! Ja und gegen sie, SIE! werd ich a Dienstaufsichtsbeschwerden einleiten! Jo a Dienstaufsichtsbeschwerden! Sauhauf’n! Saushauf’n! Jo ihnen tuat’s a Leid! A Dienstaufsichtsbeschwerden des können’s mia glaub’n! A Dreckspack hob i gsoagt a so a damisches!”

Hier der Geschmackstest:

1. Versuch: roh gegessen. Schmeckt apfelig mit einem Hauch Birne, ist aber recht hart und sauer — keine gute Idee.

2. Versuch: Quittenmus. Einfach mit etwas Wasser und Zucker 15 Minuten gekocht und danach mit dem Stabmixer püriert — sehr feiner Geschmack, Spitze!

3. Versuch: Ein Quitten-Cocktail. Dazu:

– 1 EL des Quittenmuses (sehr fein püriert)
– 5 cl Hendricks Gin (wegen der floralen Noten, wacholderlastiger Gin wie Gordon’s würde hier bestimmt nicht passen)
– 2 cl frischen Zitronensaft
– 2 cl Läuterzucker und
– 0,5 cl Bitter Truth Pimento Dram

mit viel Eis in einen Shaker geben, kräftig schütteln und in ein Cocktail-Glas abseihen — ein Hochgenuss, quasi die “Quittessenz”!

Idee: Netzpolitk.org
Tool: CDU-Plakat-Remixer

I was forced to use it in a project for some reasons. My customer wanted a sophisticated search engine for his Typo3 based website, especially for his business objects. I don’t do Typo3, and my first thought was to build this search engine as an external service in Java Lucene, let Lucene index both website and database business objects, and let Typo3 query Lucene through some HTTP based service – SOAP, XML-RPC, HTTP + JSON, whatever.

Next came some objections by my customer: We only had some “managed root servers”. Those were preconfigured by the hosting company, and the contract wouldn’t allow any major changes in the configuration due to service and support issues and warranties. In particular it wasn’t allowed to install a Java webcontainer such as Tomcat to run Lucene as a webapp, and a monitoring service would look for unwanted threads on each server and instantly kill them. No root access, and only PHP (+ Apache + MySQL) was allowed to run.

Therefore we decided to give the PHP implementation of Lucene inside the Zend Framework a try. But honestly, this turned out to be a nightmare. Here are some reasons:

1. Memory. We also had a memory limit of 64 MB per PHP thread on that server. It was not possible to add 10.000 documents to the index within one php-cli run. We also requested 128MB from the hoster, it didn’t help. I had to shut down the indexing process, restart and re-open the index repeatedly, no matter what I tried. Even closing the index and unsetting all references didn’t help.
2. Memory. In addition to this, my observation is that Java a far superior class loading, memory management and garbage collection in comparison with PHP. If you don’t pay strong attention to it, this makes any serious and bigger project really difficult. PHP Lucene seems to fail in this concern to me.
3. Speed. If you want to build a big index: forget it. A Lucene index can contain some million documents – I wouldn’t know how to build such an index with PHP Lucene. My index currently contains 60.000 documents, and it takes PHP about 2 hours to build it from scratch. Also updating or optimizing an index is much faster in the Java version.
4. Speed. This is where PHP Lucene really went bad: querying the index. I had no really complex queries with maybe 10 terms on different fields, including a few range query terms. It sometimes took more than 60 seconds to get a result – when I got a result at all instead of a fatal out of memory error or max execution timeout. The same query in Java Lucene, tested with Luke: some milliseconds! Unbelievable!
5. Features. Java Lucene is a well known, proven project. There are many addons and related projects such as Solr that make your life with Lucene a joy. There is no comparable eco system in the PHP world. E.g. my customer came up with the idea a location based search. In Java I could use the Local Lucene addon to do geographical search. I wouldn’t know how to do this in PHP without reinventing such an algorithm in PHP.
6. Features. Another request was: sort results by frequency or count of a term in a field. This sounds simple, but it’s close to impossible – at least in PHP. To the best of my knowledge, you can’t add a field with a TermVector or equivalent for that.

So what happened to my project? We ended up leaving the indexing part in PHP (until for now, I feel a final end coming as the amount of data will be constantly growing which will exceed all limitations of PHP Lucene), and some postprocessing and optimizing of the index and the querying part has been ported to Java, after I finally managed run a small footprint Jetty “illegally” and unsupported on that server.

Conclusion: Don’t. consider. using. PHP. Lucene. Ever. (Unless your project and amount of data is quite small, and any limitations don’t matter.)

Das Urheberrecht der Kunstwerke liegt natürlich bei den jeweiligen Künstlern.

Leider scheint es mangels einer Internetpräsenz keinerlei im Web verfügbare Informationen über aktuelle Ausstellungen, Öffnungszeiten und Veranstaltungen der Elba-Fabrik zu geben. Sollte man jedoch auf eine dortige Veranstaltung treffen, so sei sie hiermit wärmstens und werbend empfohlen.

Adresse:
Elba Fabrik
Moritzstraße 14
42117 Wuppertal

Ich könnte jetzt nicht behaupten, wesentlich bewegt vom Tode Michael Jacksons zu sein – dazu war das einfach zu wenig meine Musik und zu wenige meine Art der Unterhaltung. Einen Verdienst muß ich ihm aber trotzdem hoch anrechnen: Er war der Komponist eines der letzten großen “Hits” des späten Miles Davis: Human Nature.

Daher hier noch einmal für alle der großartige Miles Davis auf dem Montreux Jazz Festival mit diesem großartigen Michael-Jackson-Song.

[alternative Version mit einer älteren Miles-Davis-Band]